I wanted to tell about an experience that I’ve had over the past couple of months. As everyone knows, about a week after having Rhyse I got sick for about a month. During this illness I almost completely lost my milk supply. As a result, Rhyse started losing weight and crying a very lot. We realized that she was starving and reluctantly began giving her a bottle part time. As often happens with babies that are bottle-fed , Rhyse began to nurse more and more poorly and my milk continued to further decrease. Pretty soon Rhyse was only having one very small feeding session that usually involved a lot of crying and wrestling and the rest of her nutrition was from bottles. Before I go on, I don’t want anyone to think that I think bottle feeding is bad. It is just not what I wanted to do. There is a great deal of scientific evidence that breastfeeding is the best option for your child’s development in a number of ways and I planned on feeding her that way. However, that was not working. I was frustrated, and prayed (as did many of you) that I could please feed my baby. It seemed so strange that something that had worked so well in the past could simply not work at all anymore. I found myself very upset about this, and sad that I could not do this for and with my last little baby. Let’s just say this has been a trial for me –yes very. very insignificant compared to most people’s trials, but a trial nonetheless. I often reflected on the scripture from 2 Nephi that says that “by grace..we are saved, after all we can do.” In my life I often reflect on this scripture and find it to mean that I need to do my part and not expect Heavenly Father to take care of everything. I kept thinking that I had done all I could do. I called and talked with many specialists. I went to the doctor. I bought a breast pump. I took all the crazy supplements that made me smell like maple syrup, I tried the mother’s milk tea, took the medical prescription that made it hard to keep my eyes open let alone care for my children and gave me a lot of anxiety. I tried to pump to increase my supply. I tried to sleep more (ha, ha), I tried to drink water. And yet nothing worked. I threatened to quit completely and yet something kept pushing me to go a little longer. A little voice kept telling me that I hadn’t done EVERYTHING that I could do. Finally, I decided to sacrifice a little more and to pump a REALLY lot. This was not easy or fun and was difficult on the whole family. However, I am so happy to report that I am now able to nurse Rhyse for all but 2 small 2oz. bottles a day. This brings me a lot of joy, and gratitude to Heavenly Father for blessing me with this opportunity.

I have also learned a few lessons from this experience. First, sometimes doing “All we can do” needs to really stretch us and be difficult before Heavenly Father will kick in and help. I had to give up a few things in my life for a while, and all the family had to help. Now I need to apply this principle to other aspects of my life-I’m sure that my faith, testimony, physical fitness, etc….could vastly improve if I could push myself beyond my comfort zone. Secondly, I learned to have patience and perseverance. It would have been easy to give up about 2 months ago when Rhyse was crying so very much, but I would have missed the next 10 months of nursing that is so valuable to me. Third, going through that trial made me more sensitive to others who have gone through the same thing and hopefully more able to comfort and understand them. It also helped me in a very small way relate to people who are unable to help their children in much more serious ways. I have a few friends who are going through incredible challenges with their children-with problems they can’t solve or fix for their children. What a challenge but also opportunity to turn our lives over to the Lord and to find peace in knowing you’ve done what you could and that His will will be done. Fourth, I’ve experienced how Heavenly Father answers prayers in His own time and His own way. Though I have much more milk than before, the nursing process is still extremely time-consuming and difficult with Rhyse. Though, I would love for things to just work simply for us, I’m still grateful that I have this opportunity despite the difficulties. It is just another chance for me to learn patience and humility. Finally, I’ve gained a greater appreciation for the prayers and love of children and the power that they can have. I know a number of dear children (and adults) have prayed for Rhyse and I and I feel so grateful for their faith and efforts. Thank you. This was probably a little lengthy for most, but I have felt strongly that I needed to process this experience and share it with those who have been involved.

Sabina